Friends are fake

I thought all ang moh r fake. Now a day lots of guy from south Africa leave me a msg in okc. I chatting with them n found that they r all same kind. one from Malaysia KL ask money from me. Another one from Malaysia Malacca ask me to buy him a handphone. What the fuck is that man? Knn ccb. Really fuck leh.

Don't know what to do now

Im confused now cz don't know wht to do next. I'm divorced but we still staying under one roof. He still support our daily needs cz he loves me. But I had start to get to know new friends from dating site n chat apps. Start to meet up u know. I didn't do anything wrong but I enjoy love n being loved.

He starts to change, no more yelling to the kids, no more beating n punching. I thought I had been married to him for 18 years n we can start all over again. So, I book a two bedroom residence online n we go to Malaysia to spend 3 days time together. I'm sleeping in the same room with him n trying to get the feeling back just like b4. I failed. The kids r happy n he is happy too but not me. I had tried very hard but I can't. I was telling myself, why not I just pretend like nothing happen n u know, go back to the life we had b4? But a sound in my heart keep asking me, how long will it last?

Ohh gosh, wht am I going to do now? What decision must I make? Wht kind of life I'll hv if I choose to be with him again? Can I go for what I want? Can I choose to love n being loved? ohh my God, who can choose for me.......?

Going crazy

I went to the doctor few days ago, doctor said that I hv some symptoms of depression. Omg, I was shocked n I'm so scared. Bcz I had been suffering from depression in yr 2003. I don't know who I am n I don't even know how I went through that 6 yrs.

I get to know lots of friends from dating apps. I start to tell everyone of them my problem. Guess what, most of them say bye to me and ask me to take care of myself. Some say I'll be thr with you but end up no more msg from the next day onwards. Hahaha life is harsh. U know what, after this thing, I come to know who is real n who is fake.

I'm not gonna make new friend anymore. I hv one frm India. He said the doctor is not a doctor. Hahaha, I don't hv any sickness but I'm in love lol. MR gives me a tips, he wants me to spend more time when my kids and to be happy everyday till he come back. He will spend all time with me n do all he can to make me happy. Another one more sweet, although we r not together but he will spend time talking to me over the phone to make me feel happy. He even say that I can call him any time if I want even he's at work. He will only be rest assured only when he know that I'm happy. Sweet right?

10 months later

Within this 10 months time, lots of things happen. I had file a divorce n I think I'm changing.

In the beginning I'm just chatting with friends who r from far. Its just normal chatting. Most of them had been chatting for more than a year. I did fall for one or two of them. But in the end........ long distance relationship can't last long...

After that, I get to know ppl from dating site. Those English men r not thr to look for a long term partner but money. They use all kind of excuses to ask u for money. Omg wht kind of world we r in? I thought I can find true love but that's all not I expected.

Now a day, I hv accepted friend request every where. I even go n meet up with them. Doing all kind of things that a couple will do. Yea, sometimes I feel like I don't even know myself anymore. Who am I actually? Omg....since when I become like that.......