Another part of about myself

I'm a hooligan since I'm 9 yrs old due to my family background. But Thanks God that I have a cousin,  she was a Christian. She bring me to the church every Sunday to attend school of growth, from there God had put a little seed inside me,  but still I choose to be myself. Until I went to  secondary school,  I also mix with those who are the same as me and become more worst. But thanks God that I still love study.

After finished my studying,  I found myself a job to be a waitress in a restaurant to wait for my result, I met my first love there and very fast we are falling in love with each other, and I had gave him my everything and I get pregnant,  I'm just a 17 yrs old girl and I don't know What to do after I found that I'm pregnant,  I run away from home and stay with him in his mother's house. He commit a crime and had went to jail and the police took me away also cos my parents had make a police report.  They went to the police station to bring me back home, from there both father n daughter start to quarrel bcos of the baby, at last I had to give up my baby to another family. He was imprison for three yrs and he wants me to wait for him, I had promise him that I will cos he is my first love.

After three yrs I wait him at his mom's house. I was so happy to see him again, on the same day,  his so call brothers brought him to the Pub to celebrate,  and he get to know one of the girl there and had said to me that he doesn't want me any more, I had No choice but to leave him. He had hurt me so deeply and I swear to myself that I will never fall for anyone from this day onwards.

He use a day to hurt me but I use years to heal myself. I had become more worst after I leave him. I start to drink and taking drugs. I hurt myself by using cigarette buds to burn myself and use whatever thing that can cut myself. I hurt myself not bcos I want to die but just to feel the pain. I myself was imprisoned two times bcos of taking drugs. Working in night line just to earn more money to buy drugs for myself. 

From there I get to know my him and I was caught by the police once again,  he saw that and had went to the station to wait for me till the next morning. Mom saw him cos he sent me home. She starts to nag nag nag,  then just got married bcos she wants me to. The rest of the story is in " about myself " part I.